The best Valentine - Love yourself

This is the month when love is in the air, thanks to Saint Valentine.

But here is a thought for you.

When did you last give yourself a Valentine?

That is not as strange as it may seem. As anyone who knows true love will tell you, the more love that you give, the more you receive. This starts an amazing circle of ever increasing love, which makes your eyes shine; your energy level rises and improves every aspect of your life.

According to Nicola Forshaw, NJ Coaching, Wirral, the place to start this whole cycle going is with self-love. This doesn't mean selfishness and introspection. It means taking time out to truly appreciate all your great qualities, skills and talents.

Nicola is a coach, who specialises in relationships and tells us that many of her clients benefit from this simple change to their approach to love. She explains that, because so many of us are brought up in a culture where it is considered bad form to put yourself first, we can severely limit the love that we have to give.

Nicola: Again, It can also limit your capacity to receive love. If you don't love yourself, you may feel that you are unlovable by someone else. At best, this can make you doubt any expressions of love that you receive. At worst, it can even make you repel those who want to love you and that can result in the collapse of a relationship.

She continues: Self love is not the same as selfishness. It is the ability to acknowledge all your good points instead of a continual focus on your faults. It means looking into the mirror and seeing a person of great potential. When you can do this you can look the world in the eye, you can give freely and you can project love outwards to others.

Nicola also offers a reason why so many people never get to find the one true love that the Valentine's cards talk about. It is because the whole idea of self love is alien to them. If they think about it as self-esteem then it becomes more acceptable. Every truly happy and successful person has high self-esteem. This is not the same as arrogance or conceit, it is about giving as much credibility to your positive qualities as you do to all the others.

Some of her coaching clients have discovered that, once they have addressed the issue of self esteem then everything else just falls into place. Nicola says that the process of increased awareness is simple, gradual and very effective. The biggest pay off is that when you have done it once; you have it for all time. Then you become truly aware that you can be, do or have whatever you want in life - and that includes love.

Nicola Forshaw is always happy to discuss this or other aspects of her approach to coaching. She can be contacted during usual office hours on Tel 0151 678 9000 or mail@njcoaching.co.uk

We give Nicola the last word: "We are all born with a good awareness of ourselves. What subsequently happens is that we remember all the negative things that others tell us about ourselves and these can swamp our opinions about the good qualities that we have. Decide to base your impressions of self on what you truly know to be true instead of the opinions of others and you are well on the way to building up that never-ending store of love that is your birthright."

ENDS 603 WORDS

Notes for editors: Nicola Forshaw is available for interview and photographs. She can be contacted on

Tel: 0151 678 9000, mail@njcoaching.co.uk

Now is the time for change

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