A Guide to February Flirting

GET CLOSER TO YOUR CRUSH!

As Valentine season is upon us, are you in need of a rescue remedy to get you closer to your crush! Well, let relationship coaching expert Nicola Forshaw help you to put the Va Va Voom into your Valentines Day! Lust goggles anyone?!

SOME FLIRTY FACTS:-

• It takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if we fancy someone!
• 55% of the impression we get from someone is through their body language
• 38% through tone, speed and inflection of their voice
• Only 7% comes from what they are actually saying!
• 95% of men would love to be approached by a woman!

HOW?S YOUR FLIRTING?

One of the first questions I ask singles who come to me for coaching in finding a partner. The majority admit to finding flirting to be an ordeal. Why, when it can be such fun? And so simple?!

There are 3 key factors to successful flirting:

• Listening
• Being Attentive (asking open questions)
• Making and keeping eye contact

All very well you might say, but.... "How do I get close to the object of my desire in the first place?"

THREE STRIKES AND YOU?RE IN!

Experts say that to secure the attention of the object of your flirtatious desire takes 3 hits (not literally, you understand). Imagine spotting the object of your desire across a crowded room.

The first hit, brief eye contact, is saying "I like you but I'm not sure".

The second, keeping prolonged eye contact, is making sure they are worthy of your highly evolved flirting skills.

The third hit, smiling! Smiling is saying "right, I'm ready to make a move", or maybe "come on then, make YOUR move hot stuff"!

THE SECRET TO FLIRTING

Remember this - There is no such thing as failure!

One of the key messages we tell ourselves is this - if the object of our affections does not reciprocate our feelings then we are worthless, ugly, fat, not fit to leave the house! The list goes on.  But how true is that really?

Does our world really come crashing down because ONE PERSON does not find us as attractive as we find them?

Having this belief makes flirting an ordeal, when really is should be a bit of flippant, flighty fun.

When doing flirt coaching, I encourage practice, practice, practice!

Start with someone you don't absolutely, utterly, "I can't live without" fancy! Just choose someone you like even just a little bit.

Compare the different responses, both of the recipient of your fantastic flirting skills, and of your own responses. When does it start/stop being fun? What is going on for you when it changes? What are you telling yourself?

MARS & VENUS

Yes it's true, we do have different flirt radars according to which planet we are from. Here are some distinct tips for the girls and for the guys:-

FLIRTING FOR GIRLS

Body language all important eye contact aside, make sure you leave plenty of space around you - this gives the message - "I am approachable, I am making room for you to approach me"

Meeting Someone on a Girly Night Out

Gaggles of women can be intimidating! If you are on a girly night out, break away regularly, allow for more opportunity for you to be singled out!

Even if you are not interested in a guy that approaches you, be polite when you decline his offer, rather than hostile, or insulting. This gives the message that it is ok to approach you. You are not going to belittle or ridicule.

Don't forget to smile! :-)

 

FLIRTING FOR MEN

In contrast to the girl's advice - take up space!

The more dominant a male appears, the more females he attracts.

Look assertive (but not aggressive!), keep your head up, speed up gestures.

Don't fold your arms, chew gum, or bite your fingernails. Chewing can indicate anxiety or frustration - not very attractive!

Wear Blue if you want to attract a stable mate!

According to a study by the Pantone Colour Institute, women are more attracted to men wearing the colour blue - blue indicates stability, faithfulness, and constancy.

Don't forget to smile! :-)

On a more serious note????

When you are flirting, be clear about the signals you are giving out.

• What do you want?
• Is it just friendly banter?
• Do you want to take things further?

Separate sexual signals from friendly signals, if you only want a new friend, rather than a potential lover.

And finally???????

If you are flirting in the workplace, one of the most proven ways to get closer to your crush is to?????????.. offer to make them a cup of tea!!!!! Hobnob anyone?

Now is the time for change

Now book your introductory Coaching Session with NJ Coaching, contact me right now, click here for details on how to contact me.